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Thursday, March 22, 2012

her sword, his battle

he watches her from a distance and analyzes he every move.  she was once his and through his own stupidity and neglect she was lost forever.  he was scarred, but he knew he left an invisible scar on her that would, perhaps, never heal.  through all his flaws she tenderly nurtured him with dreams of filling the void inside him.  doing whatever it took to keep him she even relinquished herself with her only purpose being to please him.  her only wish was that he loved her the way she loved him.
as he watched her, a rush of memories swarmed his head, engulfing his very being forcing him to physically cringe in disgust at his own actions.  in his mind he knew she was better off without him and a part of him realized he would never have the opportunity to make amends with himself and most of all her. he knew that losing her woke him up and him being away was somehow for the best.  subconsciously he may have purposely pushed her away but in its own way it brought her closer to him.  her need to fix him and solve the mystery was was him, and his overall disregard for her had bonded them.  she left when she realized he was hopeless, and he knew this.  it was this that woke him up.  knowing he had lost her he began the tear down every wall he had built and attempted to build a bridge to her, but she was gone for good.
she saw through the facade and bullshit, the person he portrayed himself to be and saw the man he was destined to be.  like a muse, she attempted to bring forth what he had hid for so long, even from himself.  she took all his abuse and used it as fuel for the burning desire to save him, but what he didn't realize was, he was slowly destroying her through his own self destruction. as the abuse poured and the light at the end of the tunnel began to seem further and further away, she continuously sought solace with this animal.  forcefully breaking herself and giving herself to him completely he demolished her.  she was now as tainted and bitter as he.  misery loves company.
only she knew what he was like behind close doors, once comparing him to a frightened child.  in his fits he cried on her shoulder and this gave her hope.  she knew that inside of him was so much pain and disappear and wanted nothing more than to free him of his demons and mental prison. she fought along side him in his war with himself and just as she thought it was over, he was back to his old ways, blindly switching sides slowly,.if her fight were to be described in an epic such as the Iliad, it would be of just as epic proportions. fighting with every ounce of energy she had, blocking the blows, advancing toward her enemy and just before she threw the final blow, it arose more vicious and powerful than before. it fed on what kept her going, her will to conquer HIS demons.  no matter how tired and weary she grew, she held her sword high and unrealistically charged her opponent, never truly conquering the beast.  and she knew this but carried on in hopes of his salvation. to be continued.....

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